Looking forward....

As 2012 approaches- Scary I know!

I'm caught looking back on the past year,

* I travelled to Sydney by myself!
* I moved away from home, away from the norm and into the big wide world..... AUCKLAND!
* I began and completed my first year of my Bachelor of Business at AUT University.
* I got my first ever job, at McDonald's Britomart and have the best network of friends there! Supportive, loving, caring and helpful =)
* I've continually prayed and thought about my loved ones in Christchurch.
* Every day i've missed my friends.
* November 11th marked a year since I braved the bald and shaved my lid for a brave kid!

It's been a year since I finished high school, since i embarked on a new path and parted with my sisters i'd spent 5 long, hard, exciting years with! 5 AMAZING years!

Every month theres a new 1st time...
In January I travelled abroad alone alone.
February i not only moved out of home but moved cities.
In March I started at Kakamai Guides- my first time as a guide leader...
April, flew to Napier for the first time as an Aucklander...
May, did my first mammoth road trip to Napier
June I had my first birthday away from my mum and dad.
July visited chch for the first time since Sept 2010
August went on guide camp instead of Midland division kids camp. AND got a job.
September went to a rugby world cup match
October finished my first year of university, moved into a real flat...
November remembered the sacrifice i made a year earlier... without those who supported me the year before...
December spent my first christmas unwillingly away from home. Away from my friends. 

All these things so little and insignificant have been massive challenges for me, massive learning curves and a massive emotional and physical battle.

I'm thankful for unconditionally supportive friends and family, my saviour who never leaves nor forsakes me and most of all the love given to me daily by all!

Hugs xx

Positive in the negative....

I feel like the only time I ever write on here is a total downbuzz or "vent" as some would say.

So today I'm going for Positive..... I'll make the negative overview brief to highlight why the positive is so good!

So I've been struggling away from my friends and family lately and just missing the people I love the most so much! I've pretty much just been struggling with the changes in my life over the past year...

BUT...

I had some really good moments in the past few weeks!

*I passed my whole first year at uni! My grades weren't amazing but its been a tough year and I succeeded with the help of God and those who believe in me!

* I got to visit a beautiful city in its rebuilding and celebrate a Beautiful friends 21st Birthday!

* I was at work and one of my managers for the day complimented my work ethics and performance for the day multiple times and it made me feel super amazing!

*Today I made over $100 for Ronald McDonald House Charities by selling/making balloon animals etc outside of work while the Santa Parade was one.

* I remembered what I did a year ago and how I helped to change some beautiful, strong and amazing kids lives!


Life is what you make of it.

I'm going to aim for less bad days and more good, higher expectations of my life means a richer life I will live, and I'm going to aim for Excellence in everything I do, not just what I want!

<3 Life everyday..

My favourite things...

In my last blog I wrote about my recent adventures, well on the trip to Napier that was to honour Nikki Ellison's beautiful life.
I had the privilege to meet a new blessing in this world. Elisha, he was only a week old when I got to meet the little blessing from above. So precious and tiny. Yet one day he will be so powerful, inspirational and a unique character in this world!

Today I went to the church I now try to call "home" and an officer i've known since the time I started coming to the army was a guest speaker. And immersed in converstaion with her I found myself say "Yeah well when i'm at church this is where I am" in response to her suprise and confusion that I was attending that corps.

When I thought about what i'd just said I realised how bad it sounded but when I look back on it its true. Some weeks yes I'm away, otherweeks I have an event or training or family commitment. But then there's the weeks that I wake up and roll back over, all I want to do is walk into church and be hugged by my best friends, the people I've journeyed with intently over the past few years and that know when somethings wrong and how to make me feel better with just one look.
All I want to do on these weeks is walk through those giant glass doors and have kids that I've taught come running up to me with their open arms and precious smiles.

I miss the days when a bad day at church was having 23 of the 3-7 year olds I taught alone. Or sitting on opposite ends of a row to someone cause you had a tiff and your not talking.

Now to me those days look so good.

My favourite things are;
- walking into a room and having trouble deciding who to say hi to first and get that great big weekly hug!
- seeing friends everyday and still missing them so much in between cause your so close.
- seeing kids lives changed.
- being a person of change in this world.
- hanging out with my best friends who might as well just be my brothers and sisters.
- seeing kids lives change as they grow and seeing them become the person they are destined to be.
- seeing my best friends across the room and feeling that warm fuzzy feeling inside of me.

I have way more favourite things but at the moment these are my favourite things which I miss so much!

To my dearest Bethany, I miss hanging to you and talking about absolutely nothing in particular!
I will always love you and no matter where in this world we are i'll always feel close to you!

Jesse, Jake, Crystal, Mikayla, Bredine, Nessa and Brianna! I miss hanging out with you's and being dorks! Having random times and memories and being the people who we were born to be ;)

Jess, Christine, Holly, Sarah, Mandy, Anna, Heather! I miss your wisdom, your encouragement and your support!

<3

It's been a while....

Well it's been a while since I last wrote and lets say life's been pretty hectic! I'll start with the latest and go back in time.

*This weekend just been I attended the annual GirlGuiding NZ Young Leaders Conference and I was Challenged, inspired and changed.
-I was reminded why i'm in such a wonderful organisation, to give back to girls what I myself recieved but also Personal Development! It's not just about others its about me too, I have a life to live and develop in.
- I met some really awesome young woman from around NZ, heard woman speak about their experiences and genuinely had an awesome weekend!

*The previous two weeks I've been challenged by returning to Auckland and Uni and getting back into the lifestyle.

*My first day back in Auckland I spent with the Walkers, dear friends of mine!

*After returning from CHCH I drove to Napier on 4 hours sleep at 4:30am to honour the life of the Beautiful Nikki Ellison, taken too soon from this world and may she rest in peace! Free of pain at last, Much love hun! xx

*I spent time in CHCH and Motueka with family and friends.

*I spent two weeks in Napier and loved every minute of it!

*I celebrated my birthday with precious friends at the zoo, then Circus Circus for dinner.

Life's been pretty challenging, crazy, busy and hardwork. but in the end I know it will be good and God has an intended plan for my life and I look forward to it unravelling more!

Kia Kaha!
<3

Something so simple.

Weekly I've struggled to get myself out of bed and head to church at the Salvation Army in Mt Albert, Mt Albert is a completely family orieentated corps and is the opposite to my family in Napier which I <3 so much. Napier is a large corps with a solid youth group, childrens ministry and other various aspects to the corps. Everyone tries to know everyone yet sometimes its just to hard.
Mt Albert is small, and everyone pretty much knows everyone, theres less kids in the whole corps than on the 3-7 year olds roll at Napier.
But yesterday I went to church and I walked away so happy. I ended up with the under 5 year olds during the meeting, it felt so good to be in a ministry where I feel at home. The kids are not like my kids at home, the 4 of them were hard work and there were 3 leaders! I've been out in pebbles @ Napier before with 22 3-7 year olds alone and that was a challenge yet so rewarding. But yesterday I was challenged and not rewarded, yet I felt so happy to be able to finally give and be with kids again. The joy they bring to my life, the smiles they give, the cheeky behaviour. All of that makes me smile and feel at home.

Reflecting On Life.

In my last Blog I spoke about Faith arising from a Beautiful Miracle and How I was seeing God for the man he truely is.
Well life has taken a backwards turn. I've been home a couple times and realised I'm actually not standing as the Christian Is stood as a few months ago, I'm not relying on God to pull me through the change. I'm trying to stand on my own two feet, I'm trying to do what I think I need. But really all I need is God and the Love of people he's placing in my life. But I haven't wanted to accept those people- I've wanted to be as far away from God and his people as possible. I've had mornings where I haven't gone to church just cause I don't wanna face the fact that I'm not where my "heart" is back at Napier Corps, with my friends and church family who I just wanna be doing daily life with.

But you know what? God's obviously got other plans for my life- otherwise I wouldn't be sitting in my Auckland City Apartment telling myself that the only way through this is to go back to God. Last year I said to God, hey God if you want me to be in Uni you're going to have to make it obvious and if you don't want me there again its going to have to be obvious. See I'm pretty stubborn especially when it comes to prophetic messages and God's word.
And well, I was doing pretty bad at school, I was struggling to pass and wasn't very optimistic about passing NCEA level 3, getting uni entrance or getting into uni. But well here I sit as a first year Business student 10 minutes walk from my classrooms at Auckland University of Technology, Every lesson is a struggle, a struggle to understand, remember and actually do the work. My first assignment saw me only get a C+ but as I'm constantly reminded C's get degrees, but is it truely good enough?

On the weekend I was back in the Bay celebrating an amazing woman of God and a spiritual mother to me. Not only is she a spiritual mum though- she's a pretty good earthly mum. No matter how busy or tired she is she still manages to find time to stop, give you a hug and ask how you're going. She's got 5 kids, a busy husband and a huge heart. I remember back in 2009 we went to a conference aand I started calling her mum, within moments she turned around and said, "I'd rather Aunty it makes me feel younger." But we celebrated her 40th Birthday this weekend with a massive surprise party. She didn't even know I was in town. And as I looked accross the room at her I couldn't believe that someone could have done such a great job of raising 5 kids so far, kept the house running smoothly and managed to take so many other people under her wing and live a life for Jesus so well! I don't know if I would have travelled for as long as I did just for one weekend for one person if it was anyone else but you!

While I was home i talked to another amazing woman who's been a big part of my Journey, and I remembered why. As we stood just chatting I soon found myself  opening up and realising what I was doing was wrong, knowing that how I was feeling was normal but that it had to stop. This woman didn't deny that it wasn't hard but she knew I could get through it. Pushing into God and remembering he stands by me is the key. Faith by others on yourself is such a strong and powerful tool.

On my way home I met with an old mentor, someone  who helped me through times I could never imagine, stood with me, held me and journeyed in life with me. They moved away and I struggled to accept it. I struggled to continuue in the relationship, I struggled to livee life as I was and seeing them was like a knife going through my heart. I just struggled to say goodbye again. But as time went by this didn't help. I didn't tell them I was coming to town I didn't want to feel that pain again. And it made things worse. It had been about 6 months since our last real conversation and then we met. It felt like nothing had changed, I had my friend back and I could finally smile again. I didn't need this person back in my life to feel good about myself, to look to as an Idol or to be best friends with. I needed them back in my life to carry on the journey, to carry on the journey that they played a huge part in, I would hate to have died and been unsure whether they would  be at my funeral sharing in my life celebrations and not knowing how important they were to me or if they died for them to die and me to know my last real words to them were in an arguement.

Since my last Blog my brother raced at Hamilton 400's the V8 supercars racing. One of the biggest motorsport events for NZ to ever hold- although it happens yearly it's still the biggest motorsport event in NZ. And well my brrother was invited to race in a support class and with a little peer pressure jumpeed at the oportunity. We presumed he would be with fellow racers in the GT classes which he races in IRC but there was a gap in the Muscle cars and they were topped up with GT cars including my brother. The competition got a little heated and the Muscle cars weren't impressed that these GT cars were winning. The atmosphere was not as family like as other track events where the pits are an area of fun for all competitors and their teams, borrowing tools and helping each other out when things go wrong. And welll it was the last lap of the last race, it was even the last corner and my brother in his 2001 Subaru Impreza WRX STi Spec C which has had a complete trannsformation from what it was purchased as. Well on this last corner my brother had plucked up the courage to pass this musstang who had given him trouble all weekend. But the mustang wasn't giving up without a fight, which resulted in my brother being pushed into the wall damaging the rear of the car before plowing head on into a concrete wall at 140km/h, spinning out from force, being tapped again by the mustang before finally coming in to stop on the otherside of the track against another concrete wall. To top it all off the car caught fire and took a while to extinguish. Meanwhile the crew team had been waiting in the pits to watch him cross the line 3rd which would have made all 3 places go to none muscle car winners. But instead he recieved a DNF and a very brooken car. Thankfully all new safety gear for the event meant apart from being bruised and sore my brother walked away from the crash virtually unharmed- except of course the lost priide especially having your truck driven home by a woman becausee your too sore and shocked to drive. Well all is well in the racing world now- except the mustang repeating himself at an event the follwing weekend- damage was minimal though as walls aren't concrete. Yesterday my brother picked up his new 2002 Subaru Impreza WRX STi Spec C, which a fellow competitor helped him out with. Later in the year hopefully he shall be back on the track in the new Spec C, having used salvedgable parts from the old car and new parts. This is a more economical and faster way to get back on the track. Once completeed the original car will be fixed and either kept or sold. As time and money permits the rebuild of it.

In the midst of all this was my Grandads 6th year anniversary of his death, a day in my life I will never ever forget. 7/5/2004. FB<3 was a hero, a dad, a grandad, a friend and a mentor. He's my hero, I'll always look to him and know someone in this world believes in me. Love and miss you Grandad. You will never be forgotten, I'll come visit you this week I promise, I'll bring presents too, I'll come sit with you and drink my tea and eat my sponge cake in a special afternoon tea.

All these things have  meant I've struggled, I've questioned things that aren't worth questioning, I've questioned God on things I don't really want the answer for and I've walked away from the most important things.

Faith arises from a Beautiful Miracle.

Life was getting tough, I was thinking God wasn't the man he's been before in my life, thinking that everything until now was influenced by the people around me bringing God to me.

In my last blog I spoke about the tough day and days to come with Shaynie'Babe being in a critical condition after a car accident. Over the past few weeks its been a long road for the family and his friends around him. Shaynie' is now back in the bay in a rehab unit responding well, he woke himself from an induced coma and after panic at the hospital was put back to sleep and sedation was removed and he awoke again within days naturally.
Shayne is walking and talking and rehab is mainly to work on his brain and over stimulation as well as memory as he is over stimulating his brain when people are with him and his body becomes stressed. His memory is also weak but we're believing for an even bigger miracle than has already occured.
People all around the world have prayed for Shayne' and the family in their time of need and trial, a happy, outgoing, loving and ambitious young man with great cultural awareness has been left lying in a hospital bed while his friends keep shooting hoops and chilling out and he has a daily battle to live and regain his old lifestyle.
My friend has been at his bedside all the way, flying home with him, spending endless sleepless nights at the hospital with him and being the big sister she's always wanted to be but has never had the chance.

All of this showed me that there is a God, that big man i've struggled to believe in, that i've struggled to follow is the amazing man i once knew him as, he is the healer of this world.

It's a Time to Fight.

Saturday was a tough day for some of the people closest to my heart. After a LONG day I got home to see many uneasy posts over my facebook feed.
Reading into these brought tears to my eyes, messages of hope for a family that lie close to my heart, newspaper links and photos.
There was an accident @ 5am near my house in Napier, my family described it as an awakening fright as they heard the car plow into and around the large fenced property about 50m's from my house. The subaru legacy proceded to catch on fire. As I read the article I saw that there was an 18 year old in a critical condition fighting for their life. After further investigation I soon began to weep even more as I discovered that was one of my best friends little brothers.
My second family were currently packing up belongings and preparing to journey to wellington to meet their critcally injured son who had been transferred just hours earlier.
With one daughter a 5 hour drive from them north, and their son who was a 5 hour drive south, times were very uneasy for the family. Thalia one of my best friends, and sister got a ride and drove through the night to get home to her family before they set off to see their loved son, brother and friend.

He's a fighter and there's no doubt in my mind that he's not. He's a strong willed, brave guy who has a big heart. Having changed his ways he became a role model to younger people all around him.  He's got a strong love for his culture and ancestors and is one of the most amazing Basketball players I've ever seen.

You can pull through this with your family at your side buddy! xx

I've heard of people praying for you, praying for your family and praying for a miracle! People who i personally know would never pray, they would never pray for anyone but you! They know you, they love you and they can't wait to see you pull through the other side.

It's our generations time to shine, it's time to fight for what we believe in and that God will pull through for us! We believe in you, we believe in your potential in this world and we believe God will help you through this!

Kia Kaha, Kia Toa!

Much Love bro! xx <3

The ute in what was someones fully fenced front yard.

The Subaru which our critically injured friend was in. And the ute. That whole area nearly to the corner was fenced.

A Tough Weekend.

Over the weekend I saw a family of 7 from my home church in Napier, this amazing family who has played such an amazing part in my life returned from their well earned family holiday. As amazing as it was to see my friends it was also sad. My heart broke as I walked away from their car at Auckland international airport. Knowing that they were heading back to Napier, the place I want to be most at the moment.

Sunday Morning I headed out west to hear my old corps officer preach @ Faith Factory. I saw two people who have played a significant role in my christian journey over the past 3/4 years. Seeing them was harder than I thought, I felt so lost and hopeless.
The message was so relevant and challenging, He spoke of a dad of the Napier Salvation Army, a man who influenced so many's lives and was an incredible man of God, a man who touched my life in a way I never realised till he was gone. Such a silent but amazing love sharer.
I had to hold back the tears and fight like there was something worth fighting for, In all honesty I would have rather collapsed into a heap and cried till I could cry no more.
Walking away, yet again broke my heart, but this time I choked back the tears and felt hopeless walking away from them.

Sunday Night I went to the Watoto Childrens Choir Restore Tour, I walked away amazed @ God's love and what he's done for them. I was completly broken as I left that church and passionate about changing my lifestyle and living my life only to glorify him!

He's done so much for me, he keeps pulling me back, yet I keep going the other way and I ask myself why? so many people have stood by me, supported me and tried to help me. Yet I've managed to push them away and I'm broken without these people in my life, I'm thankful for everything in my life that they have done and love them a tonne. But more than anything i'm sorry for the pain I've caused them.

Friends, those closest to my heart.

My friends are always and have always been the closest to my heart.

Best friends are hard to come by and I have two of the best friends I could ever ask for. xx Bethany, and God! A letter to one of the bestest friends in the world.

Everyday I miss my friends, I miss those i lived with for five years @ Hewett House, I miss those who got library books confiscated with me in the library, I miss my friends who used to eat chocolate and drink Fanta with me at least once a week!

There's this little girl, Her name's Gabrielle Aliyah Taia, she's the cutest 4 year old i know!
The time that I've been in Auckland is the longest I've ever been away from her and her mum- my dear friend Holly. I miss both my girls like crazy, and can't wait to see my little angel again soon. Laura misses you Gabby! And you're a HOTTIE!!!

Despite the fact that my friends are 100's of kms away from me, I still love the fact that technology can keep us close. Facebook is the worlds connection and I love chatting to my friends and seeing what they've been upto on FB.

This semester's mid-term break is an exciting time for me. Our group from 3rd/4th/5th Form is meeting up in Napier for a little reunion, as we haven't been a 'group' since mid 5th form. We all used to stand together through thick and thin and I cannot wait to hang again.

I also get to go home to Napier =) the day I arrive will mark 64 days or something ridiculous since I left Napier! I am excited to see my amazing Church family and one of my Besties-Bethany Marie Millar =)

To my friends- I love you all like crazy and miss you, but remembering all the good times makes life so much better <3

To my dear friend Bea.

Everyday i miss you, but everyday a different reason to miss you arises.

Fridays, i think of the times when i would pick you up from school. We would have ice cream, vent to one another, laugh, and cry, chat like crazy and love our friendship. After we would go to Friday rock where we would spend more time doing life together usually before Youth Group.

Saturday’s, we would find any way possible to hang, whether it be a random drive around the bay, spare of the moment trip to the beach on a freezing cold day or just chill out in town. So when I’m at home alone I can’t help but think of the times we randomly hung out.

Sunday’s, well we would go to church and sit together. Ha-ha, but then most Sunday’s we would hang whether it be just us or a wider group we would hang and I would love every minute of it!Tuesday’s we would see each other @ the crib or bible study =) Thursday’s we would see each other @ Netball. =) Mondays and Wednesdays we would just chat over text.

I love you like crazy! I like how cute you are when you’re tired or hungry. I like your hair. I like our friendship, our laughs, tears and memories we’ve shared. I miss you my bestie, cannot wait to share life with you again soon =)

Japan and Joshua Bennie.

私の名前はローラですが、私は18歳です。2005 iのタラデール中間体と福島の日本に行ってきました。我々は、ハナワチュウで開催された。
今日は私の心は日本と福島そのうちの私はいくつかの時間を費やし、素晴らしい経験をした県とされます。
ホストされ、とてもよくていただきありがとうございます私の世話を人々に！
花輪には中学校と私のホストファミリー小峰は、私の心だと祈りはあなたといると私は私はまだ皆さんとの接触があればいいのに。
タラデールするには、その献身的なスタッフ人各年は、私は祈って、彼らは今後も末永く続くことを交換するための準備時間があまりを過ごすの中間。
愛、多くの
ローラ。

My name is Laura, I am 18 years old. in 2005 I went to fukushima japan with taradale intermediate. We were hosted by Hanawa Junior High School.
Today my heart is with Japan and Fukushima the prefecture of which i spent some time and had an amazing experience.
To the people who hosted and looked after me so well Thank you!
To hanawa Junior High and my host family the Komine's my heart and prayers are with you and I wish i still had contact with you all.
To Taradale intermediate and their committed staff who spend so much time preparing for each years exchange I pray that they may continue for many years to come.
Much Love,
Laura.


Joshua Bennie <3

I am also praying for my friends and the family of Joshua Bennie, may you forever know God's love and may his peace reign over you.
Tragically taken but never forgotten. You stand above all and celebrate your own life. Let your friends remember the memories and your family grieve your loss.
Loved and cherished by many.
Kia Kaha Jess, remember the life Josh brought to you're life and that so many people are here for you =) <3
To Taradale Intermediate and their students and staff who are affected, stay strong, stand together and pull through this as the family Taradale intermediate is! =)

Me

Well, a first blog should always be about yourself right? Well actually Blogs are usually all about yourself or your views on things. Im going to bullet point things about myself.... Cause I'm too lazy to actually write full sentences =)

Laura Rose Brown-Thomas (Rosie)
18 years old. June 1992.

Currently in Auckland @AUT doing BBus.The rents live in Napier- where i grew up.The rest of my family live in CHCH where my mums from.I was Born in Wellington.

Went to Banks Avenue Primary, Taradale Primary, Taradale Intermediate and most recently boarded @ Napier Girls High School for HS.

Favourites:
Pink
Cheeseburgers from Mcd's (Not allowed Mcd's during 2011)
Mum's home cooking.
Girl Guide Biscuits.
Kittens and puppies =)
Sleeping
Hillsong United and Brooke Fraser

Friends, my friends carry me through hard times, they're always there for me, they make me cry, laugh and smile, my friends will always be an important part of me. You lie in my heart =)

BEA-I miss you xx (just cause i can)

I <3 Girl Guiding NZ, 13 years this year and I'm changed because of it! From Cheese challenges to my 9 up, to my Guides Aotearoa to my Queens Guide Award I'm totally stronger for it =)

I <3 God and the Sallies, I'm a Sallies Girl and proud, my family at the Napier Salvation Army helped me to have life altering changes/experiences when i embarked on a journey with them in 2007 and am so thankful!
Its sad to have left Midland Division but good to be back where my journey with the Sallies started in Northern...

Aishiteru, (I love you)
Rosie xx